Why I Gave up Christianity

Before you label me a heretic, hear me out.

I was raised in a Christian home. I went to church on Sundays and awanas/youth group on Wednesdays. I participated in youth rallies, retreats, conferences, mission’s trips, and camps.  When I was younger I attended vacation bible schools and when I grew older I worked at them. By all standards, I was a “good” person.

Later in life, I was confronted with the world. I knew what I believed and what to say in certain situations. Nothing is wrong with that at all, I loved God and knew that I will be spending eternity with him (not because of actions, but because of the relationship.) But, WHY did I believe what I believe? Was it because that is what I was told my entire life?  More on that later…

Through all of my experiences both good and bad, I discovered a nasty fact. Christians can be some of the most judgmental people on the planet, me included. Of course this is the extreme exception and not the rule. But, in my experience, the people who hurt me the most were people I worshiped with on Sundays and Wednesdays. It was heartbreaking. They probably had good intentions, but something got lost in the translation.

I’m not sure what the day it exactly was, but I wanted to be done with it all. I was sick of hypocrisy in Christian circles…again, including my own. I was extremely torn between what I believed and what I thought was “right.” 

I felt that following Jesus was more about “getting into heaven”, buildings, or institutions. I felt that following Jesus is more than just about religious dogma and being a “good” person. I felt that it was much more than putting on your Sunday best and going to Church every week. I felt it was much more than fighting over what the proper way to do communion is or whether hymns or modern music is more Godly.

I felt that I was putting God in a box and extremely limiting him in my little world.

Cookie cutter Christianity was no longer for me.

I gave up Christianity to follow Jesus.

I believe that following Jesus more about love than hate. It is more about justice, peace, and pure joy. It is more about community and family. The greatest command was to LOVE God first, and LOVE others second. The end. Our mission on earth is to Love God and Love people no matter where you are at in life.

*Sidebar* I have said this before, and I will say it again. Everyone has their “thing.” No one is perfect. Everyone has their baggage. It is not my job to judge them or look down on them, because of it. What you have done or what has happened to you are not who you are. It is just one piece of the puzzle. I truly believe that God doesn’t look at my faults. He loves me, because I am his creation and his beloved. While on Earth, Jesus didn’t see a prostitute or tax collector. He saw his child whom he created and loved.

Now, if the creator of the universe can love those of us on the bottom of the pile, why can’t we love each other despite our baggage?

Converting people to Christianity is not my number one priority. My number one priority is cultivating and growing my faith and being an example of Christ’s love and forgiveness to those who don’t know Christ. I don’t want to build a holy barrier that disconnects me from the world.

I don’t know where my life is leading. I really don’t, and I’m okay with that for now. I’m far from perfect and will never claim to be. I am not up on a pedestal…that’s not for me.

Bottom line is…are we in love with the mission or the mission-giver?