It seems like just yesterday, but already it has almost been a week. I am so glad that so much of our family could come here. The week was so hard but at least I had cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters, and my parents here. We missed those who couldn’t make it.
My first thought after everyone left was, “what now?” Grandma has been my world for 4 months. She was my responsibility. I keep thinking that I need to check on her or we need to be quiet because she is sleeping. I keep thinking “when does grandma need her medicine next?” It is hard to transition from constant worrying and care to zero worrying and care.
We had so many plans. We were going to get baked potatoes and large strawberry shakes. We were going to go to the beach with Murphy and Mya. You were supposed to show me how to make red beans without burning them. We were going to dye your hair red and mine purple. With that being said, I know you were ready and it was your time.
I don’t know how to feel. Cancer is stupid.
I know this will get better with time. Tomorrow will always be better than today. I know you are with paw paw and Kristen. I know you are happy. I just wish I could hear your voice one more time. I wish we could laugh one last time. I wish I could hug you one last time and tell you that I love you.
I love you grandma. I always will.
Kourt
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